Bloggaday 313 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 4 By David “Banjo, Vest, Bowler, and No Pants” Dysart

Bloggaday 313 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 4

By David “Banjo, Vest, Bowler, and No Pants” Dysart

“Otherside”

by

Red Hot Chili Peppers

“Hush”

by

Deep Purple

“Ain’t No Grave”

by

Johnny Cash

“Jar of Hearts”

by

Christina Perri

Chuck: Hello, Bloggaday Readers, and welcome part four of Song of the Week 30.

Tom: Ho ho ho! It’s nice to see all of the good boys and girls again. Welcome back!

Chuck: Are we going to get to music content today?

Tom: I don’t know, but why don’t I finish my story?

Chuck: Why don’t you.

Tom: Well, where was I? Ah, that’s right. So far, I had put my jumbo candy cane, a hard gingerbread man, a toy, banana, Woody, a pipe, some serious lumber, my family jewels in her jewelry box, and lastly, my Prince Albert in your wife’s stocking.

Chuck: Yep. What’s next? The kitchen sink? Maybe you’re going to start herding animals two by two into my wife’s stocking.

Tom: Ho ho ho! Nothing like that. You’re wife’s stocking was at the brim! I couldn’t even get my nuts in there, so they just rested on the patch of fur on your wife’s stocking!

Chuck: So that’s it? Can we move on?

Tom: Ho ho ho! Not quite, Chucky.

Chuck: Don’t call me Chucky.

Tom: I had one last thing.

Chuck: What other euphemism can you possibly think of?

Tom: Well, I had to give her my package.

Chuck: Jeeze. How did I miss that one.

Tom: Unfortunately, there wasn’t anymore room in your wife’s stocking. I tried cramming it in there, don’t you know?

Chuck: Oh, no.

Tom: It wouldn’t stay though, so I had to pull out.

Chuck: No, please.

Tom: Well, your wife couldn’t wait, so she started working my package with her hands.

Chuck: Come on.

Tom: Honestly, she was so excited, she even used her mouth… To tear the wrap, I mean.

Chuck: DO you really have to do this.

Tom: I think that she liked the ribbon I tied on my package. It made it so festive.

Chuck: Uh huh.

Tom: Well, she was getting a little tired, so I helped unwrap it.

Chuck: Did you now.

Tom: Yeah, and when I finished, she was so happy to get the pearl necklace.

Chuck: You son of a… You gave my wife a pearl necklace…

Tom: Well, of course. I think she knew what was coming though. Just before I finished and pulled the wrapper off, she rested back and pulled her hair up. That’s a woman who’s gotten a pearl necklace or two, Chuck.

Chuck: Yep.

Tom: Hey, Chuck.

Chuck: What’s that, Tom?

Tom: When was the last time you gave your wife a pearl necklace?

Chuck: You know what? I’m not too sure.

Tom: You should do it more often.

Chuck: I’m sure I should.

Tom: Yeah… It would probably get you laid more.

Chuck: …

Tom: What? I’m just saying.

Chuck: I’m so sorry, Bloggaday Readers. That’s all I can do today. I need to go home and drink. I need to drink so very much. Come back tomorrow. Now that that ridiculous-

Tom: Ho ho ho! Don’t you mean ridiculous?

Chuck: Sure I do. Have a great day, everyone. Come back tomorrow for the actual songs this.

Tom: And have a very Merry All Christmas’s Eve.

Chuck: Ohh…

Tom: What is it, Chuck?

Chuck: Tomorrow’s Christmas. I don’t even have a present for my wife.

Tom: Can I suggest a pearl necklace? She really seemed to love it whe-

Chuck: No! Enough with the pearl necklaces and Woodys and your hard f#$&!%@ gingerbread man! I need to concentrate now.

Tom: Hey, Chuck?

Chuck: What is it, Tom?

Tom: What did you get me for Christmas?

Listening to

Music and dogs barking. Sadly, not http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg

Listening to (cont)

Actually, fortunately it’s not http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg

Listening to (cont)

I’d hate not to be able to write anymore Bloggadays because I blew my brains out listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg

Twitter Tag

San Tom’s story finally comes to a close on this very special post, but Chuck forgets to buy gifts, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227

313 December 24

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

Bloggaday 312 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 3 By David “Bread made of Ginger” Dysart

Bloggaday 312 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 3

By David “Bread made of Ginger” Dysart

“Otherside”

by

Red Hot Chili Peppers

“Hush”

by

Deep Purple

“Ain’t No Grave”

by

Johnny Cash

“Jar of Hearts”

by

Christina Perri

Chuck: Hello yet again, Bloggaday Readers. I’m Chuck.

Tom: And I’m San Tom. Welcome to part san of the big san oh!

Chuck: What?

Tom: Well, as I said, Chuck, I’ve been studying Japanese. The Japanese character for “3” is pronounced “San.”

Chuck: I hope you get esophageal cancer talking like that.

Tom: I don’t know what that is, but for your wife’s sake, I hope it’s not communicable.

Chuck: That’s right, you were talking about stuffing my wife’s stocking, weren’t you?

Tom: That’s right, Chuck. Thank you for reminding me.

Chuck: Well, don’t let me keep you. Go on.

Tom: Frankly, I was about to call Ripley’s because you’re wife’s stocking just kept going and going. It has already swallowed up my candy cane, hard gingerbread man, toy, banana, and Woody, and it still had more room.

Chuck: Whatever did you do, San Tom?

Tom: Well, I had to lay down some serious pipe!

Chuck: You laid pipe?

Tom: I surely did! I knew after all of this, your wife would need a smoke, so I brought an antique smoking pipe. I new she would love it, so I gave it to her.

Chuck: And she liked it?

Tom: I’d say. My pipe was in your wife’s mouth all night. She hardly took it out except to spit!

Chuck: Spit?

Tom: Yeah, I accidentally bought chew instead of smoking tobacco, so my pipe in her mouth was more for aesthetics than practical use!

Chuck: Anything else?

Tom: Well, I also brought some major lumber to the party.

Chuck: Lumber? How so?

Tom: Well, I hand-crafted a jewelry box and put a cherished family heirloom in there.

Chuck: How sweet of you, San Tom.

Tom: Yeah, I know. But just the thought of my family jewels in your wife’s jewelry box brings a smile to my face.

Chuck: Now, I know my wife’s stocking pretty well, if I say so myself. There can’t be much more room left.

Tom: That’s true. Your wife’s stocking was filling fast.

Chuck: But of course, there was room for one more thing.

Tom: Of course! It was tight, but I put my Prince Albert in there too.

Chuck: AH, TOM!

Tom: What? Didn’t you ever have an action figure of Prince Albert of Sax-Coburg and Gotha when you were a kid? A few years ago, your wife mentioned how much she loved the feel of a good Prince Albert, and I finally found one.

Chuck: You are an odd little man. You know that right?

Tom: Ho ho ho!

Chuck: And we’ve squandered the word count for yet another Song of the Week. We’ll have to come back next time to continue.

Tom: You know when that is, right?

Chuck: Christmas eve?

Tom: Yes. I’ll be sure to wrap up my story on all Christmas’ Eve. Ho ho ho!

Chuck: That’s more of a Halloween thing. You can’t just assign it to random holidays.

Tom: Ho ho ho! Sure you can. All Pearl Harbor’s Eve. All 4^th of July’s Eve. It actually makes it better! Ho ho ho!

Chuck: Goodbye, everyone.

Tom: Ho Ho Ho! And Merry Bloggaday.

Listening to

Twitter Tag

In today’s post, we learn about Japanese 3sans, and some serious pipe, major lumber, and a Prince Albert gets added to the stocking, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

Bloggaday 311 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 4 By David “Afterimage Graffiti” Dysart

Bloggaday 311 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 4

By David “Afterimage Graffiti” Dysart

Another Santos Manuel observation post? Then there must being another bit of information.

The reason why I was so nervous about this paper is because of my previous papers. The first couple of papers I got 10/10’s. I even read one of my papers out loud along with a couple of other students. My paper just before this one though, I got a 7/10.

…

PAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…

So for a week I camped out in my head, freaking myself out that I was going to fail this paper.

With that cheery thought, on with the descriptions

Need to play catch-up? No problem! Here are the links to all of the Santos Manuel Bloggadays.

Bloggaday 290 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 1

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday290 December 1

Bloggaday 297 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 2

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday297 December 8

Bloggaday 304 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 3

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday304 December 15

Bloggaday 311 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 4

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday311 December 22

Bloggaday 318 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 5

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday318 December 29

Bloggaday 325 – SPF PWND: Santos Manuel Student Union: An Observation pt 6

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday325 January 5

Behind the trashcan fresh from its last acquisition, a man comes in with a galloping confidence. Somehow, this man, “Andre del Toro,” doesn’t look shocked or surprised to be suddenly transported from his running of the bulls in the cramped streets of Spain to a student union in the heart of the Inland Empire. Close-cropped hair runs back from his sun-touched face, black strands still slick with gel. Below its reach, a red bandana clings to his neck, trailing down the back of his shoulders, offering a triangular target for any rampaging animals. Thick white cotton hugs his torso as stone-washed jeans round out his clothing. Andre takes metered steps with blinding neon shoes. The amalgam of swirling colors has obviously kept him safe by bewildering raging bulls despite their lack of color vision. With the bopping of his steps, they seem to leave a trail of afterimage graffiti, forever engraving themselves in the minds of innocent bystanders. As the disorientation of the students who have noticed him clears, he is already across the floor of the expanse. He has left the student union a desolate mental wasteland and refuses to show a tear or twitch of remorse. Taken away from his run, he has become what he ran so desperately to get away from and has left the factory producing the future of Southern California a shattered China shop.

Listening to

Sweet Emotion (and myself freaking out about this paper)

Twitter Tag

Only one more Santos Manuel observation post after this one, catch up while you can, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

Bloggaday 310 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 2 By David “Jingle Balls” Dysart

Bloggaday 310 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 2

By David “Jingle Balls” Dysart

Chuck: Hello and welcome to part two of Song of the Week 30. I am your host and with me as always is…

Tom: San Tom, ho ho ho!

Chuck: Are you going to do that ridiculous voice today too?

Tom: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chuck!

Chuck: Whatever. Let’s just get to the songs.

Tom: Don’t be rude, Chuck! I haven’t finished telling my story yet!

Chuck: Haven’t you humiliated my wife and I enough?

Tom: Ho ho ho! Not even close!

Chuck: Fine, go ahead. The floor’s yours.

Tom: Well, after I put my candy cane in your wife’s stocking, I saw that there was still more room! Can you believe that, Chuck?

Chuck: Nope.

Tom: Well, luckily I brought a ginger bread man with me!

Chuck: How convenient!

Tom: Yeah, as soon as I got the gingerbread package out, it was hard.

Chuck: …

Tom: Yep, the gingerbread man was hard and ready to stuff your wife’s stocking…

Chuck: …

Tom: It was stale, Chuck

Chuck: Of course that’s what you meant. Go on.

Tom: Well, even with the gingerbread man in your wife’s stocking, it wasn’t enough.

Chuck: Nope. My wife has a HUUUGE stocking, huh, San Tom?

Tom: You’ve got that right, Chuck. Luckily I had a toy with me.

Chuck: A toy?

Tom: Yep, so I put that in, right along with the gingerbread man and my candy cane.

Chuck: Oh, what kind of toy was it?

Tom: It was just a toy. Don’t push it, Chuck. But guess what!

Chuck: What’s that?

Tom: Your wife’s stocking still wasn’t full!

Chuck: Well, of course you put something else in, right?

Tom: I couldn’t just leave the job half-done!

Chuck: What was next, San Tom?!?

Tom: Well, you might not know this, but it’s an old Christmas tradition to fill stocking with nuts and fruits.

Chuck: Good Christ…mas. What fruit could you possibly have stuck in my wife’s stocking?

Tom: Well, your wife’s stocking looked like it needed a… banana!

Chuck: Of course it did.

Tom: it was a good, firm banana, not quite ripe yet.

Chuck: Well, that’s good.

Tom: Yes. But your wife wanted more still!

Chuck: Yeah, she gets a little greedy around this time of year

Tom: Well, I saw how her eyes lit up when I brought out the first toy, so I pulled out my Woody!

Chuck: Your woody?

Tom: Yep, I always give out Toy Story gifts during Christmas, so I gave your wife a woody and put it in her stocking.

Chuck: I’m sure she loved your… Woody.

Tom: What can I say? They always love my Woody.

Chuck: And it looks like we’re out of words yet again. Tomorrow will be our regularly scheduled PWND content, do join us again Thursday for part 3 of Song of the Week 30! I’m Chuck.

Tom: And I’m San Tom. Have a ho ho wholesome day!

Listening to

Some Song by Some Artists

Twitter Tag

Apparently “stocking stuffing” is complicated, so I’ve dedicated another post to it

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227

310 December 21

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out