Bloggaday 306 – Commencement Ceremony Tickets pt 2
By David “Have a Great Day” Dysart
If you haven’t read yesterday’s post, then I would highly suggest it since this is the last few hundred words of an email I sent out for no other reason than I could.
Well, here’s the rest of the email.
I'm not even sure why you need these extra tickets or how many you need. I hope you understand that despite my ignorance on the subject, my heart truly goes out to you on the matter. I hope this softens the bitter disappointment that you are feeling right now.
There is some good new though. I hear we have a qualified staff of psychological counselors here on campus. I'm confident that they are more than competent to alleviate any stress that this or the holiday season has induced (I also hear that if you tip them, they'll find a valid link between your current problem and your childhood upbringing. Not only that, but they'll write you a note that you can take home and guilt your parents with). Pardon the dangling participle. I fear my grief for you has had a detrimental effect on my grammar (what can I say? I'm a very empathetic person).
If you are still reading this, then I must call into question your work ethic. I mean, don't you have a final you should be studying for or a research paper you should be... researching for?!?
At any rate, good luck on this and future endeavors. I'm sure a resourceful college student such as yourself will be able to overcome such a small obstacle like the need of a few commencement ceremony tickets. Have you not been trained in the ways of sneaking people into movie theaters? Are you not fluent in the art of illegally pirating music, movies, and games on the Internet? Surely, for someone who has grown up in our times has the ability to get around a silly thing like a guess count. For it is this spirit of entitlement that has bred the finest generation that this great country has ever seen.
Sure, WWII produced a noble and patriotic generation of hardened veterans and draft dodgers, and sure, the 60's turned that hatred and grief into love and understanding, but our generation has married these two ideologies and those from the generations since then to produce the naturally selected brilliance that is... US.
It is with this realization and insight that I have given you that I hope you are able to get all of your friends and family to join you on the monumental occasion of your graduation. May their love and warmth carry onto the stage where you take the first step of the rest of your life.
Have a great day
And that’s it folks. Now you may be thinking to yourself something along the lines of, “Wow, he has way too much time on his hands.”* But in my defense, This was written entirely on my phone, mostly while walking, some while waiting. So it’s not like I took valuable productive time to write it.
One last note. I haven’t received an email back.**
American Girl (And other songs by) Green Day
The rambling nonsense of the Commencement Ceremony Tickets continues today, only on Bloggaday
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227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out
* Actually, it went exactly like that.