Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bloggaday 309 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 1 By David “Stuffing Your Wife’s Stocking” Dysart

Bloggaday 309 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 1

By David “Stuffing Your Wife’s Stocking” Dysart

Otherside

by

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Hush

by

Deep Purple

Ain’t No Grave

by

Johnny Cash

Jar of Hearts

by

Christina Perri

Chuck: Welc-

Tom: Ho ho ho!

Chuck: …ome to this special, Christmas edition of the Song of the Week.

Tom: Well, does that mean we have some special, holiday songs to give all of the good little boys and girls?

Chuck: I wouldn’t know. You handle the songs, not me.

Tom: Ho ho ho! It doesn’t sound like you’re filled with the Christmas spirit, Chuck.

Chuck: Please stop talking like that.

Tom: Do you know who is spilled with the Christmas spirit, Chuck?

Chuck: Why are you doing this to me?

Tom: Well it was your wife, Chuck.

Chuck: Really? Wife jokes again? I thought we go-

Tom: Why just last night, I visited your house, and was greeted with milk and cookies!

Chuck: That’s nice, Tom.

Tom: But you weren’t there. Why not, Tom?

Chuck: I had to go out to Palm Desert for a couple of days.

Tom: Well, your heat was out, so I had to keep your wife warm aaaallllll night.

Chuck: I’m sure you did.

Tom: I know it’s a bit early, but I also filled your wife’s stocking.

Chuck: Why, that’s nice of you, Tom.

Tom: Yep. I filled it to the furry brim.

Chuck: Really, you shouldn’t have.

Tom: It was so full, my nuts were right there hanging out. I guess you could say I was nuts-deep.

Chuck: Nuts-deep? Really?

Tom: Yeah, but that was just some of the treats I brought. First, to make sure the stocking was ready for me, I had to stick my fingers in.

Chuck: Of course you did.

Tom: But to my surprise, my whole hand went right in.

Chuck: I’m sure.

Tom: I don’t think I was the first to stuff her stalking that night.

Chuck: Yeah, apparently she’ll do that to ya.

Tom: Ho ho ho! I didn’t mind though. Once I saw her ho face, I just kept going.

Chuck: Thanks for not making that a silent “h,” Tom.

Tom: No problem, Chuck. As I was saying. As I started stuffing your wife’s stocking, she started reading from the Bible.

Chuck: The Bible?

Tom: Well, I didn’t recognize the verse or anything, but she kep-

Chuck: Anything else?

Tom: Oh, the stocking! I started of with a jumbo-sized candy cane.

Chuck: Candy cane you say?

Tom: Yes, indeedy. I made sure to wrap it before I stuck it in. I didn’t want any germs or nasty bacteria to get on it or anything.

Chuck: HaHAH!

Tom: What’s that, Chuck?

Chuck: I’m just wondering if the hook in your candy cane got caught on anything.

Tom: Oh… Well, my candy cane doesn’t really hook at the end.

Chuck: Really?

Tom: It does kind of have a… slight curve up, but no hook.

Chuck: I’m sorry to hear that.

Tom: Oh, not at all. It’s good for stocking stuffing. Hit’s the spot, don’t you know.

Chuck: And with that, we’re out of words. Come back tomorrow for part two of Song of the Week 30. As always, I’m Chuck.

Tom: And I’m San Tom

Chuck: Santom?

Tom: Oh, sorry. I’ve been studying Japanese lately. It kind of means “Mr.”

Chuck: Then wouldn’t it be Tom San?

Tom: Why’d you have to go and ruin it, Chuck. You’re a real dou-

Chuck: Aaand have a great day, everyone.

Listening to

Curtain Call By Maroon 5

Twitter Tag

Learn about the finer points of “stocking stuffing,” only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way

http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell

http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor

http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

No comments:

Post a Comment