Bloggaday 313 – SotW 30: Jar of Hearts pt 4
By David “Banjo, Vest, Bowler, and No Pants” Dysart
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Chuck: Hello, Bloggaday Readers, and welcome part four of Song of the Week 30.
Tom: Ho ho ho! It’s nice to see all of the good boys and girls again. Welcome back!
Chuck: Are we going to get to music content today?
Tom: I don’t know, but why don’t I finish my story?
Chuck: Why don’t you.
Tom: Well, where was I? Ah, that’s right. So far, I had put my jumbo candy cane, a hard gingerbread man, a toy, banana, Woody, a pipe, some serious lumber, my family jewels in her jewelry box, and lastly, my Prince Albert in your wife’s stocking.
Chuck: Yep. What’s next? The kitchen sink? Maybe you’re going to start herding animals two by two into my wife’s stocking.
Tom: Ho ho ho! Nothing like that. You’re wife’s stocking was at the brim! I couldn’t even get my nuts in there, so they just rested on the patch of fur on your wife’s stocking!
Chuck: So that’s it? Can we move on?
Tom: Ho ho ho! Not quite, Chucky.
Chuck: Don’t call me Chucky.
Tom: I had one last thing.
Chuck: What other euphemism can you possibly think of?
Tom: Well, I had to give her my package.
Chuck: Jeeze. How did I miss that one.
Tom: Unfortunately, there wasn’t anymore room in your wife’s stocking. I tried cramming it in there, don’t you know?
Chuck: Oh, no.
Tom: It wouldn’t stay though, so I had to pull out.
Chuck: No, please.
Tom: Well, your wife couldn’t wait, so she started working my package with her hands.
Chuck: Come on.
Tom: Honestly, she was so excited, she even used her mouth… To tear the wrap, I mean.
Chuck: DO you really have to do this.
Tom: I think that she liked the ribbon I tied on my package. It made it so festive.
Chuck: Uh huh.
Tom: Well, she was getting a little tired, so I helped unwrap it.
Chuck: Did you now.
Tom: Yeah, and when I finished, she was so happy to get the pearl necklace.
Chuck: You son of a… You gave my wife a pearl necklace…
Tom: Well, of course. I think she knew what was coming though. Just before I finished and pulled the wrapper off, she rested back and pulled her hair up. That’s a woman who’s gotten a pearl necklace or two, Chuck.
Tom: Hey, Chuck.
Chuck: What’s that, Tom?
Tom: When was the last time you gave your wife a pearl necklace?
Chuck: You know what? I’m not too sure.
Tom: You should do it more often.
Chuck: I’m sure I should.
Tom: Yeah… It would probably get you laid more.
Tom: What? I’m just saying.
Chuck: I’m so sorry, Bloggaday Readers. That’s all I can do today. I need to go home and drink. I need to drink so very much. Come back tomorrow. Now that that ridiculous-
Tom: Ho ho ho! Don’t you mean ridiculous?
Chuck: Sure I do. Have a great day, everyone. Come back tomorrow for the actual songs this.
Tom: And have a very Merry All Christmas’s Eve.
Tom: What is it, Chuck?
Chuck: Tomorrow’s Christmas. I don’t even have a present for my wife.
Tom: Can I suggest a pearl necklace? She really seemed to love it whe-
Chuck: No! Enough with the pearl necklaces and Woodys and your hard f#$&!%@ gingerbread man! I need to concentrate now.
Tom: Hey, Chuck?
Chuck: What is it, Tom?
Tom: What did you get me for Christmas?
Music and dogs barking. Sadly, not http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg
Listening to (cont)
Actually, fortunately it’s not http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg
Listening to (cont)
I’d hate not to be able to write anymore Bloggadays because I blew my brains out listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg
San Tom’s story finally comes to a close on this very special post, but Chuck forgets to buy gifts, only on Bloggaday
Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding
http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr
http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell
http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me
I wanna view like Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show
What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday
http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face
http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor
http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way
New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see
158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday
159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…
183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
313 December 24
Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out