Bloggaday 307 – Women Explained: Missing Periods and the Compulsive “P” That Follows pt 1
By David “The Woman Whisperer” Dysart
Hello folks, and welcome to yet another Bloggaday written on my iPhone. I’m going to break this one into two posts as well since it’s a bit long. But, no need to fret about that. As always, I’m going to post the next one immediately after posting this one.
Anyways, in this particular post, I examine, from a fresh perspective if I do say so myself, why women freak out so much after missing their period. I think I have some pretty valuable thoughts on the subject.
Women are finicky creatures. This is especially true when it comes to spelling and grammar. I'm not a grammar Nazi myself, being a man and all, but I think I'm qualified enough to lead a guided expedition to examine this phenomena.
First, let's examine the occurrence of unpunctual punctuation. When periods don't occur at a desired and preset schedule, women freak OOOUUUUT. I haven't had any occasions when this missing period is replaced by a semicolon, but I theorize that this would solve the problem. Guys, if you are in a relationship with a woman, I would recommend stocking up on these. Do tell me if it doesn't work though. I have a more drastic plan that involves a comma and an "and," but it is only to be used as a last resort since at times, that comma must actually be a semicolon still. But, I will jump off that bridge when I come to it.
One problem often associated with the misplacement of periods and other punctuation is the consequential form of dyslexia. Once hysterical about the missing period, women often must use a "p" in the following sentence. I'm unsure of the problem women have with "p"’s after missing a period, but they often do it very quickly. This obsessive requirement to write a "p" after a missed period is so well documented and so engraved into the psyches of women that an entire industry has been built around it.
And that’s where I’m going to stop for today. I know I’m a little light, but this is the logical point to stop it. It’s a little bit of foreshadowing, but not completely killing it in the middle of something. Tomorrow will bring me to 1k for 2 days, so read on, read until your laugh becomes loud.*
Man on the Silver Mountain by the Ronnie “The Double Rainbow” James Dio
Today, I demystify why women freak out over missed periods and compulsive “P”ing, only on Bloggaday
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227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
307 December 18
* Painfully vague Aerosmith reference For The Win!**
** Or FTW for the geek savvy.
Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out