Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bloggaday 307 – Women Explained: Missing Periods and the Compulsive “P” That Follows pt 1 By David “The Woman Whisperer” Dysart

Bloggaday 307 – Women Explained: Missing Periods and the Compulsive “P” That Follows pt 1

By David “The Woman Whisperer” Dysart

Hello folks, and welcome to yet another Bloggaday written on my iPhone. I’m going to break this one into two posts as well since it’s a bit long. But, no need to fret about that. As always, I’m going to post the next one immediately after posting this one.

Anyways, in this particular post, I examine, from a fresh perspective if I do say so myself, why women freak out so much after missing their period. I think I have some pretty valuable thoughts on the subject.

Women are finicky creatures. This is especially true when it comes to spelling and grammar. I'm not a grammar Nazi myself, being a man and all, but I think I'm qualified enough to lead a guided expedition to examine this phenomena.

First, let's examine the occurrence of unpunctual punctuation. When periods don't occur at a desired and preset schedule, women freak OOOUUUUT. I haven't had any occasions when this missing period is replaced by a semicolon, but I theorize that this would solve the problem. Guys, if you are in a relationship with a woman, I would recommend stocking up on these. Do tell me if it doesn't work though. I have a more drastic plan that involves a comma and an "and," but it is only to be used as a last resort since at times, that comma must actually be a semicolon still. But, I will jump off that bridge when I come to it.

One problem often associated with the misplacement of periods and other punctuation is the consequential form of dyslexia. Once hysterical about the missing period, women often must use a "p" in the following sentence. I'm unsure of the problem women have with "p"’s after missing a period, but they often do it very quickly. This obsessive requirement to write a "p" after a missed period is so well documented and so engraved into the psyches of women that an entire industry has been built around it.

And that’s where I’m going to stop for today. I know I’m a little light, but this is the logical point to stop it. It’s a little bit of foreshadowing, but not completely killing it in the middle of something. Tomorrow will bring me to 1k for 2 days, so read on, read until your laugh becomes loud.*

Listening to

Man on the Silver Mountain by the Ronnie “The Double Rainbow” James Dio

Twitter Tag

Today, I demystify why women freak out over missed periods and compulsive “P”ing, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way The twits are tweeting and rss feeding I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face Let the pictures hit the floor I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

307 December 18

* Painfully vague Aerosmith reference For The Win!**

** Or FTW for the geek savvy.

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

No comments:

Post a Comment