Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bloggaday 300 – This is BLOGADAAAYYYY

Bloggaday 300 – This is BLOGADAAAYYYY

By David “Chiseled Abs of Washboard Six-Pack Steel” Dysart

An advertiser for Google Ads recently skyped me. We had an interesting little chat. Figuring it would be a good one, I decided to record it for prosperity. I took the recording and transcribed it for your reading pleasure as well. PLEASE DO ENJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

a parody of

Me: Before you speak Googler… know that in Bloggaday everyone, even an advertiser is held accountable for the words of his voice.


Me: Now, what message do you bring?

Google: Blog and space.

Me: You skyped in all the way from Google Inc for blog and space?

Computer: Do not be coy or stupid, Googler. You can afford neither in Bloggaday.

Google: What makes this Mac think it can communicate among men?

Computer: Because only Macs are used by real men

Me: Let us sit back to cool our tongues

Google: If you value your success over your complete destitution, listen carefully Bloggaday Author. Google buys out and advertises on everything it rests its eyes upon. It leads a payroll so massive it consumes forests every payday, so vast it has its own barbershops. All the Sky-net Google requires is this: a simple offering of blog and space. A token of Bloggaday's advertisement of Google. You run a few blogs to promote Google and offer space on your website for us to run Google Ads on.

Me: Advertisement. Well, that’s a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it that the Piccadaians have already turned you down. And if those illiterates and… slackers have found that kind of nerve.

Me: And of course Bloggadayers… have their reputation to consider

Google: Choose your next words carefully, Bloggaday Author. They may be your last as Blogger.

(Turn and walk away

Low angle shot


Low angle shot

Look up to landsape {blogger page}

Low angle on eyes

Picture stage left






Me: Blog and Space…

Google: Madman… You’re a madman!

Me: Blog and space… You’ll find plenty of both out there.

Google: No man, Blogger or Google, no man threatens an advertiser!

Me: You bring the URLs and profits of contracted sellouts to my computer’s screen! You insult my Mac. You threaten my readers with junk and shopping! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Googler. Perhaps you should have done the same.

Google: This is blasphemy! This is madness!


Yay, total destitution!

So, on the Youtube video, I used the actual song from the scene, “Submission” by Tyler Bates

I put off making this thing for over a month and because of it, I’m off to post as much of that month’s Bloggadays as I can. I couldn’t just skip 300 afterall. See you all in a minute!

Listening to

Ain’t No Grave

Twitter Tag

For post 300, there’s a video telling you exactly where you are, only on… Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way The twits are tweeting and rss feeding I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face Let the pictures hit the floor I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

300 December 11th

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

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