Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Bloggaday 164 – Baby Got Back (feat. JoCo) by Sir Mix-a-Lot (A Mashup by David Dysart)

Bloggaday 164 – Baby Got Back (feat. JoCo) by Sir Mix-a-Lot (A Mashup by David Dysart)

Whew, I didn’t think I was going to finish this product in time to post this Bloggaday. As I’m sure I’ve aptly described the preceding title that I haven’t thought up yet, I just finished my first ever mashup. I have to say, it was quite the interesting and addictive process.

As I’m sure everyone knows, a couple of decades ago, our knighted musician* Mix-a-Lot came out with a song called “Baby Got Back” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo&a=GxdCwVVULXcTlRUA6nB72euF2Mhv5rVJ . What some folks might not know is the fact that JoCo covered the song with what has to be the whitest version possible http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltjbnyvq_SI and downloadable at http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id81323999?i=52235823 . Well, I thought it would fun to see it as a mashup with the two versions together. Well, what else is a poor white boy to do? Other than pull up his 17-inch Mac laptop and create it himself that is. I was able to just use the podcast audio from JoCo, but I had to use alternative means to get the Sir Mix-a-Lot audio.**

I made the song over a 12-hour period. I’m not sure how many hours it took me, but those 12 hours fell on top of my beddy-bye time, which suffered greatly from the great booty.

As I’m writing this, there’s already things I’m kinda wishing I would have changed or done differently, but I think I just need to be done with this song. Last night, I figured I would put a rough cut release of the song up and then put the finishing touches on it and repost it sometime this week. I ended up getting a lot more work done on it than I would have thought, so the little things that bug me about it will do so for all eternity.***

I guess all I can really do is ask you to go take a listen, and I hope folks enjoy it as much as I recall making it in my sleep deprivation. It could be garbage, but garbage is a lot of fun some time. Alright, I think I’m just starting to ramble now.

I do see myself doing another one of these things, and I would be bringing a lot more knowledge to the table next time, so it should be better. “Makes Me Wonder,” the Maroon 5 song seems pretty popular cover-wise,**** so that’s looking like the next song it at the moment.

Yeah, so no story content this week. I had to decided last night, Zombies? Baby Got Back? Zombies? Baby Got Back? Honestly, which one would you have chosen?

Oh, sorry, you can’t answer me, can you?

On one last note, I’m going to be AFK for the 4 or 5 days so I might not put up a blog a day every day, but I’ll play catch-up when I get back and get a post for each day up.

Listening to

Baby Got Back Mashup (feat. JoCo) by Sir Mix-a-Lot

And other assorted covers

Twitter Tag

Want to read about (and see) my first mashup (Baby Got Back)? No? Well, it’s up and only on Bloggaday anyways

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

164 July 28

* And all-around nice guy I’m sure

** Alternative means -> http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-152-how-to-rip-audio-and.html

*** While it’s by no means here yet, it might end up achieving “Damn it to the inferno that is the Judaic-Christian torment that awaits all unsaved souls. May it rest in eternal misery with all the other blasted projects that have won demoralizing victories over me” status. Just kinda my fear. For the moment, I’m definitely happy with it.

**** Youtubers, is it that hard to edit out your hitting play and stop on the video?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bloggaday 163 – My First Yoga Class

Bloggaday 163 – My First Yoga Class

So I went to my first yoga class Sunday. I have been doing it at home for about a month now, but there is definitely a difference. I think I’ve said before that I’ve been watching a podcast hosted by Tara Styles to get my yoga learnin’. Even though I’ve been happy with the podcast, I’m glad I went to the class.

When I do yoga at home, I typically do like a 20-minute session I think. I don’t usually time how long I do it. After all, seems kinda against the whole point of doing yoga. The class ended up being something like an hour and a half, kind of surprising me how long it was.

I think I did pretty well. I was the first one who got corrected though. I just didn’t have my hands far enough apart. I didn’t make a fool out of myself, and I wasn’t the worst person in the class, so I was happy. Luckily I still have some residual youngin flexibility. I imagine if I was like 40 with my lifestyle, I would have had a lot more problems in the class.

So it was good. We started out really easy. Got a bit harder when we started working with lunges and warrior. I’ve got absolutely no lower body strength, so that was a tough part of the class. I got a little bit of a sweat going. It is kind of amusing though. She would have us in the most uncomfortable positions and someone would have a problem, so she would grab some blocks or try to correct them, but that means everyone is having to hold the position that much longer, which, while good for the conditioning, kind of sucked during the pose.

It was kind of interesting. She (the yoga instructor) had us jump from downward dog like we were going to go into a handstand. Then she asked for volunteers to do it against the wall and actually jump into the handstand. One of the two other guys did it,* but I wasn’t surprised when he was able to do it. Another woman tried and did it, but again, I figured she would be able to do it. The third and last person to try it did it, but I was kind of surprised she did it and so easily. I think I kind of have to nut up and just try it here in the near future.

I will say though, I was a wee bit sore the day after. I probably should have had a snack or some chocolate milk afterwards. When I lifted my arms I could feel it a little bit. My back was also a little sore. It didn’t feel like a post-workout soreness though. It felt more like I overstretched it or pulled it. I’m feeling better today, so it wasn’t anything too serious.

I didn’t do anything last night or this morning because I didn’t want to aggravate my back, but I’m going to start the yoga again tonight, so I’ll definitely incorporate some new stuff in my own homegrown routine, but it definitely won’t be an hour and a half long. Yay for $3 yoga!

Listening to

Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction

Twitter Tag

Talkings about my first ever yoga class are up, but only on Bloggaday

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

163 July 27

*This guy came in just before me. The yoga instructor asked if he had ever done yoga before (he just kind of walked in when you were supposed to make appointment as it were). I don’t recall if he said yes or no, but he kind of did this weird bragging thing where he said, “I’ve done dance and circus.” It was just kind of weird because he was trying to strike up a conversation, but there was a line behind him.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Bloggaday 162 – SotW 9

Bloggaday 162 – SotW 9

Chuck: Hello, Bloggaday readers and welcome to yet another edition of the Song of the Weekwith my co-chost Tom and myself, Chuck.

Tom: Wow, Chuck, what are we up to now?

Chuck: This is actually the 9th Song of the Week.

Tom: Almost to double-digits, aren’t we, Chuck?

Chuck: Yep, but I hear you have some exciting news about a new segment.

Tom: That I do. This Thursday I’m interviewing Bloggaday Author, David Dysart.

Chuck: It’s not just a regular interview, is it?

Tom: No, it’s actually going to be a new segment called Thing a Week Response.

Chuck: Which is a weekly response to Jonathan Coulton’s Thing a Week, but we should probably get back to the Song of the Week.

Tom: Well, I guess so, but that means more work right now. If we played a clip from the interview, that’s probably a couple hundred words we don’t have to work.

Chuck: Hmm… You know what, if we don’t meet our quota with a stripped down Song of the Week, we’ll drop it in.

Tom: Okay, well this week was quite the turbulent week in the music world.

Chuck: Why’s that?

Tom: Well, for the first half of this week and last half of last week, Dierks Bentley’s eerie hit, “Up on the Ridge” was easily dominating the competition.

Chuck: Well, what came up to knock it off?

Tom: Well, it’s a little something called JoCo’s Thing a Week.

Chuck: Yeah, I guess being flooded with 52 free songs will kind of push off any other “older” music.

Tom: Yeah, it definitely will.

Chuck: Well, what kind of songs were looking to throw Dierks off the weekly throne?

Tom: Well, to take a quick peek at the interview, David mentioned that we’re looking at songs like ““You Could be Her,” “Chiron Beta Prime,” “Creepy Doll,” and “Big Bad World One.””

Chuck: You had to do it, didn’t you?

Tom: What?

Chuck: I didn’t want to play a damned clip on the Song of the Week. This should be new content every week. Is it that hard for you to pick up your share of 500 words?

Tom: Jeeze, Chuck, what the hell?

Chuck: I’m sorry, I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately.

Tom: Hey, it’s okay. Do you want to get a beer after this?

Chuck: You know what? I think I do.

Tom: Well, let’s get the SotW done.

Chuck: Alright. Well, who’s getting this week’s honors

Tom: It’s actually

“Up on the Ridge”

by

Dierks Bentley

Chuck: I guess Thing a Week couldn’t muscle out the competition fast enough, huh, Tom?

Tom: I kind of suppose so.

Chuck: …

Tom: So I guess that kind of wraps up another SotW.

Chuck: Yes. Thank you Bloggaday readers for reading another Song of the Week with Tom and Chuck. Please tune next week for the 10th edition.

Tom: Thank you everyone.

Chuck: So did you have a place in mind?

Tom: For what?

Chuck: To get a drink.

Tom: Oh, I don’t know. There’s a place over by State St.

Chuck: That sounds good.

Tom: Okay, let me know how you like it.

Chuck: Wait, aren’t WE going to go get a drink?

Tom: ?

Chuck: Together?

Tom: Ohoho. You couldn’t pay me enough, Chuck. I just thought getting plowed off your ass would help make you… not so whiney.

Chuck: You know what, Tom?

Tom: What’s that, Chuck?

Chuck: You can just go fu*

Listening to

American Pickers

Twitter Tag

SotW 9 is live and feeling the jive, only on Bloggaday. Wow, that was terrible. I don’t know why I said that

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

162 July 26, 2010


*My dad told me I had to put in here that I lost a game of chess to him. I forgot what Chuck was going to say though**

** “fuel your motorcycle,” “fudge a pan of brownies,” “fumigate your house,” “fund a government-mandated program,” “fuse some Saiyans together,” “foretell the future,” ???


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Bloggaday 161 – You Look Like My 3rd Wife

Bloggaday 161 – You Look Like My 3rd Wife

2 and a half men had a funny joke. It was actually given to Evelyn. She comments to one of the older gentlemen that he reminds her of her 5th husband. He responds by asking how many husbands she has had. Casually, she smiles, “4”

I don’t know; it just worked well. After that though, I started considering adapting it to a real-world application. The problem is though, I can’t really walk up to a girl and say, “Hey, you remind me of my first wife.” It’s kind of a crapshoot that she would even ask, “Oh, how many times have you been married?” If she does, then I have to stumble my way through, “Oh, I’ve never been married.” It might actually come off kind of creepy, but at the core of the problem, it just really isn’t that funny. The next problem is what if she doesn’t ask about how many times I had been married. I’m only 21, so her more instinctive reaction might be to think something happened to her, such as passing away, so she might actually ask, “Oh, what happened to her?” What do you say then? “Oh, I’ve never been married,” and smile? The joke just doesn’t really work with that flow. I suppose the only real option for her response would be to lie and go for the pity play with something like, cancer or something. But if you live in Southern California like me where lightning bolt isn’t readily available to strike you down, cancer is surely in your cards somewhere down the line, probably prostate at that.

Now, the joke gets slightly more viable if you’ve been married before. “Oh, you look like my second wife.” The much more automatic response is, “Oh, how many times have you been married?” “Once actually.” It’s still not perfect, but it’s better than never married before.

I think the joke really hits its stride if you’ve been married twice. “You remind me of my third wife.” She almost has to ask about how many times you’ve been married right off the bat. It’s shmooooth. I’m also going to extend this to being married 3 times.

Now Eveleyn’s setup of, “You look an awful lot like my 5th husband,” is a bit too much. I know the backstory forces that setup, but the numbers are a little too high for the optimal setup, and that extends all the way up… Setup, setup, setup.

I think I can make the “never been married” setup work. “Hey you look like my first wife.” It doesn’t really matter if her response is questioning the number or what happened to her, you can just spin it, “Oh, I’ve never been married, but I’ve always taken those ‘where do you see yourself in 5, 10, and 15 years exercises’ way too serious.” Now, the nice thing with this is it actually works better if you DON’T say, “You look like my first wife,” but say something like 3rd or 4th. It really pushes your creativity and realistic streak as well as justifies the use of all three numbers: 5, 10, and 15.

Will I ever actually use it? Probably not, but it still amuses me. I’m sure I’ll post any horrendous fails if I manage to do it though.*

Listening to

JoCo

Twitter Tag

Hey, you kinda look like my 5th Bloggaday reader. How many have I had? 4 :-) . Only on Bloggaday

Hey, today’s post kinda reminds me of my 161st Bloggaday. How many have I had? 160 :-) . Only on Bloggaday

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

161 July 25

I’ve noticed that a lot of times when I say I’ll post something like a part 2 in the future, I don’t usually get around to it.**

It wouldn’t really surprise me if this was just another one of these cases.


Saturday, July 24, 2010

Bloggaday 160 – The TAWR Prologue

Bloggaday 160 – The TAWR Prologue

Welcome to the first ever TAWR post… kinda, or Thing a Week Response for the acronymly challenged Bloggaday readers. This actually would have ran long to include TAWR content, but this’ll break down future TAWRs. For those of you who don’t know, Jonathan Coulton is a pop culture singer/songwriter. Well, that’s the first thing that popped in my head when I went to write that sentence. Wikipedia would say JoCo “is an American singer-songwriter, famous for his songs containing themes of geek culture as well as his rise to popularity through the use of the Internet. Among his most popular songs are Re: Your Brains and Still Alive, which played over the end credits of the video game Portal.”

Until a couple of days ago, my limited knowledge of the man came from Mur Lafferty’s The Takeover which featured his song, “RE: Brains.” After pulling the clip from the show and listening to it for a while, I bought it off of iTunes. That was it until I was listening to the Nerdist Podcast. If memory serves, the host talked about him with Scott Sigler. They mentioned that he released a song a week for an entire year as a podcast. Well, after the brilliance of his zombie song, how could I not check 50+ free songs.

Wow, thank goodness I’m a dirty, dirty Sigler Junkie, ‘cause if I wouldn’t have caught that episode of Nerdist, I probably wouldn’t have found out about this phenomenon that Coulton released. It’s simply awesome.

I was being bored and listening to the impressive catalogue. I starting to formulate profound* thoughts about some of his songs as I laid there, but I figured I should probably go write a Bloggaday when it struck me, I could post a response to his TAW with my own TAW.

Of course, it’ll be written and just take up a weekly Bloggaday. Plus, it gives me a chance to give more time to Tom and Chuck from Song of the Week while finally giving the reigns of the Performer of the Month Bloggaday to Jack and Dan. But I’m not entirely sure if I will take that spectator viewpoint with the TAWR.

My first problem is that I plan on starting a new project that lasts a year, and I’m going to attach it to a project that only has a half-year left. My immediate solution was to do TTAW, Two Things a Week. But then would I want to wait until I hit the halfway point, or start it now and just finish it early. But then, I would have to fill 500 words for each set of two songs. It probably wouldn’t be hard, but with more, I can practice economizing my words.

Well, with two out, I thought 5 songs per post, but that will leave me with a couple loose songs at the end. If I used 4 though, I could post one a week for 13 weeks and be fine. I haven’t started writing any of these TAWRs yet, but I’m thinking 4 songs a post sounds good. So hopefully in the next day or two I’ll roll out the first TAWR. Keep tuned to see how it turns out.

Listening to

The wonders of an LA face with Oakland booty by Sir Mix-a-Lot and JoCo

Twitter Tag

Find out about my upcoming TAWR, a response to JoCo’s Thing a Week

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

160 July 24


* I didn’t write the footnote when I put an asterisk there, so I’m sue what it was going to be**

** I imagine it was going to be a comment on how non-profound the thoughts really were. I’m sure I would have made it something humorous.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Bloggaday 159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick

Bloggaday 159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick

I went to the Suncoast Mall a couple of days ago. Well, it’s not called “The Suncoast Mall,” but that’s how I’ve always thought about it since it used to have a Suncoast in it. Unfortunately, they’re no longer in business. Suncoast, not the mall. Though this story would probably be much more interesting**** if I went to an out-of-business mall. Hmm, hide-n-seek? A business opportunity? “Down”?*

As fun as those possibilities are, I went to a perfectly infunct mall. Despite the first 100 words of this post, the point of this Bloggaday isn’t the mall; it’s the Sbarro inside the mall. Now if you’ve ever been to a Sbarro, you probably don’t really need to read this Bloggaday because I’m quite sure you’ve all had exactly the same thoughts, right down the Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick.

If memory serves, Sbarro has been seen in countless Seinfeld episodes, but Southern Cali has got them too. It’s not really “good pizza,” but it’s really good pizza to have like twice a year. It’s basically a little bit of bread and sauce cooked with like 8 pounds of cheese, so as long as you’re not overdoing it too often, it’s good.

Whenever I went to the Ontario Mills Mall (not the Suncoast Mall), I would get their pizza and a couple of breadsticks. Now these aren’t just any breadstick; these were seasoned, parmesan cheesed crescents of ecstasy. That’s right, crescents of ecstasy. Have you ever had them? I thought so. Now shut your yap, ‘cause after all, I can’t actually hear you, so you kinda look like a dumb@$$ talking to your screen there. What’s that? The cute passenger in the aisle seat saw you talking to the screen? He/She’s chuckling/giggling isn’t he/she? Wait, he/she’s not a “heshe” is he/she? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Wait, what was I talking about?

That’s right, Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadsticks. Is he/she still looking? Yell it out. Do it now, you fool. Anyways, I don’t get out to the Ontario Mills Mall too often, but there’s also a Sbarro at the Suncoast Mall, so that’s where I usually get my cheese fix. Unfortunately, they changed their breadsticks.** Now they suck. They are terrible. They are big breadsticks now (which is weird since most places make changes and make things smaller to save money). They’re just these blah, rather tasteless sticks of dough. They might as well just have phthalates in them.***

Wow, I used phthalates like 4 times before I finally got to that joke. I wrote this Bloggaday because I came up with it. I liked the title so much though that I had to use it a few times.

I suppose I should just end this Bloggaday here. With all of my footnotes (which you really need to read), I’m already over 600 words. I just have one last thing to say… err type: Now hurry you damned fool, go catch that dreamy he/she. If you mention my name, you might get a discount.

Listening to

Another Saturday Night by Sam and Dave

Twitter Tag

Have you ever had a phthalate-filled breadstick? No? Well, you can read about one, but only on Bloggaday

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/

http://twitter.com/daviddysart Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter

http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ Hung My Head in a Tumblr

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love

http://www.facebook.com/thedaviddysart?ref=sgm If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness

http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday

http://s1000.photobucket.com/albums/af128/daviddysart/Piccaday/ Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times

http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me

http://www.flickr.com/photos/daviddysart/sets/72157623465996877/ From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-1.html

3 Get PWND with story content

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/02/bloggaday-3-1st-pwnd-edition-ever.html

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/04/bloggaday-73-pwnd-with-side-of-bacon.html

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/05/bloggaday-85-my-public-apology-for.html

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/06/bloggaday-118-my-guide-to-efficiency.html

137 My new favorite segments, the Sotw and PoM with Tom and Chuck

http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/2010/07/bloggaday-137-june-performer-of-month.html

129 July 23


* Want to know what “Down” is? It’ll just take 15 minutes of your time http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sect-of-down-pt1/id287931114?i=43576699

** Or should I say, Wonderful Ecstasy Sticks?*****

*** I’m fully aware that if you let 100 people read this, only 1 of them would get that joke. Well, 2, but the other one would have thought I was talking about a shoe, so they might have laughed, but they wouldn’t have gotten what I was saying.

**** After going back, this Bloggaday was pretty good. Interesting story? Not really, but it was still amusing, and I don’t want to hear any guff.

***** Ohh, this Bloggaday isn’t exactly going to help dispel the perception of me being gay.