Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Bloggaday 136 – PWND: The Supernatural Handicap Battle Royal of the Century Christmas Party Spectacular

Bloggaday 136 – PWND: The Supernatural Handicap Battle Royal of the Century Christmas Party Spectacular

First off, I just came up with that title. Technically, I’ve already written the following 75 words, but I had to go back and mention it. Cause honestly, how awesome of a story title is that? It’s 11 words. That’s right; this one goes to 11.

So I got pointed over to this website from Jake Bible’s Twitter, and thought, Cool. It’s a great thing. Christmas zombies to help charity? I know, how has this not been done before? It’s so simple.

My first thought, well second after the whole cool thing, was I have a good zombie story. Third thought? Damn, it’s not Christmassy. Then of course, Hey I have Christmas story that has pretty screwed up ending. Again, I was spoiled. The story was not zombie-orientated.

Well, what is a writer to do? I mean, I really want to help those little foster children out. So I finally got off of my ass from a few weeks ago when I last worked on some fiction and started pumping out some new content. I’ll be honest. It starts out slow. The first 500 words (for this Bloggaday) doesn’t have any action. The next 500 (next Wednesday’s Bloggaday) will give you (and the first zombie) a taste of action. The third 500 has a little action, but will probably play a bit of setup (I’m only 1,100 in right now*).After that though, it really gets Christmassy and zombie asskickery.

I know I said today would be The Performer of the month, but PWND got bullied last week for the clipshow, so I’m just going to postpone it until tomorrow.

The Supernatural Handicap Battle Royal of the Century Christmas Party Spectacular

The man stood at the table, wine glass in hand. He sighed as the moron in the living room continued to wave his arms at the group that joined him. At least the man was quiet though.

A woman from the group shouted from the edge of the cushion, “Dances with Wolves! Flashdance!” As the dancing man jabbed a finger at his nose, the woman continued, “Pinocchio!”

A chuckle accompanied the man at the table as he took another drink. He looked up to a huge man leashed by a clip-on.

“Not a fan of charades either, huh?” the big man pointed, his drink nearly slushing from his cup.

“No, asinine party games are not my idea of fun,” he quipped, a hard accent trailing his words.

“Hey now,” the man said, a slur starting on his own speech. “My wife’s in there playing.”

The original man swirled his glass and said, “And why aren’t you in there playing?”

“Because it’s fucking stupid,” the beast laughed.

The man gave a chuckle before sipping another drink from his glass.

“Hey, how did you get the crystal and the fine red stuff when we all got stuck with the red plastic and punch?”

“Ah,” the accent came again as he held the cup up. “My wife’s boss is a close friend. That has its perks at these damned Christmas parties.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind for next time.” The big man paused as he stared at the group in the room. “Paul,” he said, turning to offer a hand.

The shorter man swapped his drink between hands and took the man’s grip. The two escalated in the strength of their grasps before he said, “Henric.”

“That’s quite the interesting name to go along with your accent. Where exactly are you from?”

The man retrieved his hand and slid it back and forth on the pant leg away from the man. “Romania. I came here… many years ago.”

Nodding through another drink, Paul said, “Nice. I had a neighbor from Romania.”

“Really.” Henric said flatly, returning his gaze to the flailings of the man.

“Yeah. She tried teaching me some conversational Romania, but the only thing I retained was suge pula.”

A drop of the deep red trailed down Henric’ chin as the jarring of the laugh threatened to spill it all. He wiped the drop as it raced across his pale skin. “That is very funny. Are you sure you know what that means?”

“Yeah, you don’t think that would help me over there? I figured I could fake my way through it as long as I knew that.”

Henric ground the drop into his thumb as he said, “I wouldn’t call ‘conversational Romanian,’ but I’m sure you and your wife will have a lot of fun.”

The two stood there, nodding through the silence. Paul finally said, “So what do you do?”

Listening to

The Deadliest Warrior

Twitter Tag

The Supernatural Handicap Battle Royal of the Century Christmas Party Spectacular? Only on Bloggaday

Exit stage right to my corner of the interweb > \/ Plaster Caster Twitter Strutter Hung My Head in a Tumblr A Little Less Conversation and a Whole Lotta Love If I Never See Your Face Again

Youtube Awesomeness Still deciding to try to capture it or let it slip

For the Piccaday Says I broke it twice, I must have done it half a dozen times Because Yesterdays ain’t got nothing on me From the nest in the hills chillin’ with Flynt

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

1 The basics

3 Get PWND with story content

73 Mash-up of science and relatable humor? It’s just Bloggaday

85 Deadpan humor and drama, what more can you want?

118 Maybe some practical real world advice drowned in humor.

120 My new favorite segment, the Song of the Week with Tom and Chuck

136 June 30

* I only have a vague idea where I’m going with it

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