Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bloggaday 315 – RAD: Random Ass Dialogue: A Prologue

Bloggaday 315 – RAD: Random Ass Dialogue: A Prologue

By David “The Radass” Dysart

So I’ve decided to start another segment here on the Bloggaday. Unlike the Song of the Week of Mondays and PWND: fiction content of Wednesdays, it’s just going to be one of those things that I’ll post occasionally. It’s more like Craftspicable Me. Whenever I have the content, I’ll post a Bloggaday for it.

More specifically, future RAD posts will contain 500 words worth of snidbits of, as the title suggests, Random Ass Dialogue. I have a tendency of creating little back and forths in my head when I’m bored. I’ll post some at the end of this though to get to 500 words.

A vast majority of these little bits of PWND content never go anywhere as I don’t build stories around them, but I figured this would be a good enough reason to get them down on paper… er pixels?

RAD: Athlete’s Foot and the Gyroscopic Effect

A: So you’ve never had athlete’s foot?

B: Look at me. Do I look like an athlete to you?

A: I guess not THAT athletic, but it’s not really an athle-

B: I sure as hell don’t a black man’s penis.

A: Wai, wha? What does that have to do with being athletic?

B: You must not stay too current with some of the sport medicine journals out there.

A: What?

B: Well, they found that have an above-average penis in length offers a gyroscopic affect.

A: Bullshit!

B: No, aside from the increased balance, it lowers the center of gravity and improves overall speed.

A: Are you serious?

B: No…

A: …

B: Ha! I can’t believe I actually had you going!

So that’s RAD in a nut shell. The length will vary, but the above bit of RAD is pretty indicative of what future RADs will be like

Sometimes, RADs blossom into full-blown stories. One such case would be the Day In The Life series of stories. But I’m going to go into more detail about those in a while, so keep your eyes peeled. For now, I’m going to add an excerpt of one of these stories to fluff my word count a bit and close out this Bloggaday.

I walked from the class and unarmed my sunglasses from my belt loop, slipping them above my nose and under my eyebrows. My fingers invaded my pocket, grabbing at the wires leading them to ear buds, but they pulled out a tangle not to be outdone by the most groan-worthy unearthing of Christmas lights. I of course deftly freed the knot and slipped them into my ears before I slapped my ipod on.

Sigh. I slung my backpack on the slab of cement that boxed in the mini-jungle and rolled down to follow. Propping my legs on the pack, I watched a leaf pull from a twig well above my reach. Thoughts swirled in my head as I tried to empathize with the leaf, but the dominating thought I imagined running through it’s inanimate veins as it pulled from the tree was, Hell if I’m getting a Watching Train pulled on me. I may be wrong about leaf thought patterns, but upon further reflection, I’m quite sure that I really get them.

I let a yawn go as I closed my eyes. Damn, still twenty minutes before my next class.

Hmm, I actually started listening to the sound. The Davidian Cast. Which one is this?

“Stupid fuckin’ Wonderbitch and the Cheekless Wonder made me waste my beer.”

Ah, the Veli Sectisode.

“Excuse me,” a voice came, but I shoulder-crawled away.

“Hey, get up!”

I opened and checked around. What the? “Why is it dark?”

“Because it’s 10 o’clock. You’ve got to leave.”

“No, it’s like 9.”

“Nope,” he said. “10.”

“No, a.m.. A.M.!”

“Excuse me?” another voice came.

“Hey?” I said looking around. “That’s a woman’s voice isn’t it?”

“S’pose so.”

“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”

The man looked back, “Considering what I just snaked out of the toilet, I really hope so.”

“Heh. I’ll try to be easier on the imaginary plumbing next time.”

“Excuse me?” the woman came again. This time though, I felt a quick poke to the shoulder, and I snapped back to my oceanfront view of eyelids. “Don’t worry, I’m not dead. Good looking out though.”

And that’ll do it for today’s post. I’ve got a pretty hectic Bloggaday schedule coming up, but more on the preceding on the Bloggaday Double Feature: Phone Calls and Another Day in the Life. I might not have the space for it until arounf 326 or so, so the wait might be kinda long.

Listening to

Myself make faces at drinking Gargoyle Taint Juice (Arrogant Bastard Ale and Orange Juice)

Twitter Tag

The imaginary plumbing takes a punch, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way The twits are tweeting and rss feeding I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face Let the pictures hit the floor I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see

158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday

159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is

174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…

183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.

134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.

227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

315 December 26

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

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