Saturday, February 12, 2011

Bloggaday 358 – The Third Great Trigady pt 13

Bloggaday 358 – The Third Great Trigady pt 13
By David “I’m Going All Soft” Dysart

The time has come yet again for another clipshow, this time the last for Bloggaday: Year 1. There’s still a few more regular posts coming, but The Third Great Trigady is going to fill most of the remaining year. Each of these posts contain some of the best of the last third of the Bloggaday, and my new comments add up to the 500-word word count.

Enjoy a look back at the last 100 posts. Until next time…
“Bloggaday 340 – Lifeboat psychology pt 1
By David “Physcics Professor, Psych Major, El Capitan, And All Around Good Guy” Dysart

Things you didn’t know about me, eh? Well, here’s one. I was once cast asea in a lifeboat with 4 other people. I won’t go into the back-story, but needless to say, discount cruise to Mehheeco, yadda yadda yadda, I’m drinking tequila in a deflating rubber bottle top of a death trap.
So, as I said, the raft isn’t doing too good. I’ll spare you the dramatics of the conversation, but we decided that one of us had to jump off of the raft. Hey! You weren’t there. don’t judge me! Sure, I brought it up, and I might have implied I was a physics professor and the raft wasn’t capable of sustaining that many people, but it’s not like I said that the jumpee had just sink. They could tread water. I mean, we’re in the middle of the ocean. We’re bound to run into some rebellious land that has risen up against its water oppressors.
So, where was I? That’s right, we were trying to decide who would go overboard. Well, talks had barely started when the other guy in the boat just leaned back went overboard.
It was the damndest thing.
I’m not ashamed to admit I wept openly for that great man. Deep down, I think he knew that shark had been circling the boat. I mean, the way I had been throwing up… In hindsight, yeah, the half-digested shrimp in my gut were of course going to bring meat-eaters around.
So, yeah, I cried. But then I realized that in the very near future, it was going to be 3 women and me on a deserted island… I just couldn’t remain sullen about my brave boatmate’s fate.
Well, I might have realized that situation before I openly wept, and the tears MIGHT have been fake, but it’s the action that counts, not the thought.
Hmm, when exactly was it that I realized that his absence left the odds very favorable for me? But I tried saving him. I really really tried. Just ask the girls. I lunged for him as he went overboard. None of them did. I don’t think they were really paying attention to him. But me? It’s just a shame we were sitting across from each other. Had I been closer, maybe I could have saved that brave and noble man.
I mean, I wish I could see a replay of it. I actually made contact with him as he went overboard, but I just couldn’t grab him. But, it’s not just my amazing physical prowess that almost saved my fallen comrade. It’s really my keen ability to read people. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I am a psych major. I could see it in his body language. It just wasn’t right…

Listening to
Free Ride by Edgar Winter Group (horrible name by the way), but every time I hear it, I think of this piece of television gold ->

Twitter Tag
Favorable odd, people reading, heroic actions, and feats of amazing physical prowess? Only on Bloggaday!”

Oh, I’m sorry. Did I just copy/paste the entire Bloggaday into a clipshow? You’re dim right I did. The clipshow that is The Third Great Trigady is home of the best of the best of the Bloggaday. And guess what? Part 1 of Lifeboat Psychology was just that dim good. So you can put that in Tom’s antique pipe and suck on it all night long.
“Bloggaday 341 – Lifeboat psychology pt 2
By David “Carpenter Square Shoulders” Dysart

Because I was sensing this, I started one of those silent, face conversations guys can have.* He was actually quite pleading in it. He brought up a very good point. What if we make our way to some deserted island, and then there’s some sort of global catastrophe that wipes out all of mankind? The job of repopulated the planet would fall to those in the raft. Apparently it was all a bit too much pressure for him. You glanced at the three women and communicated to me, “I just can’t do it. I simply don’t have the stamina for THREE women. But you! Good genes have made you tall. And those shoulders, man! If you tattooed framing on your collarbone, a carpenter would be using them.**” Come to think of it, I had seen him on the cruise earlier. He was wearing those really short volley ball shorts. The weird thing is though, there wasn’t a volleyball court on the ship. The plus about these nonverbal conversations though is the fact that I didn’t have to listen to his lisp.
Anyways, so I could see how torn up he was. He didn’t want the responsibility of possibly being the father of a new global population, but he didn’t have the nerve to make the leap.
I knew what I had to do. This valiant man was willing to give up his life for the good of mankind. I had to do my part though. I leapt for him and gave him a good shove. He freaked out a little as he went over. I’m not sure if it was having second thoughts or if it was just instinct, but he locked onto my arm like a rat getting chucked over a cheesy E. Luckily, once the shark got him, he let right go and didn’t embarrass himself anymore.
As for me, I never made it to that deserted island with the Miss July, Miss, August, and Miss*** November. The Coast Guard found our little boat about fifteen minutes later. I suppose the moral of the story is, when things look bleak and grim, just jump off. It’ll give somebody somewhere a really good story.

Listening to
Myself chuckling

Twitter Tag
Today I tell an inspiring story of a great man, global catastrophe, a veiled reference to Chuck E. Cheese, and a shark, only on Bloggaday

* Girls, forget that you ever read that. Men have NOT in fact developed a system of communication that has been passed down father-to-son. Though, if there were such a system devised, it would have been created by Abraham and Isaac.^
** Don’t worry if that didn’t make you ROFL. It was a bit of a stretch, and the joke isn’t even that funny.
*** Recently widowed Miss

^ The system was later improved upon by Jesus and the Big Guy Himself.^^
^^ Other than official translations, no other changes have been made. Though if another father must sacrifice his son, a memo may have to go around.”

Whoops, clumsy me again. I just plopped the entire Bloggaday 341 – Lifeboat psychology pt 2 Bloggaday as a clipshow. Man, I’m sorry you had to read all of that awesomeness.
Now tomorrow wraps up Lifeboat Psychology, but I can’t imagine I’m going to copy/paste the entire thing again. It’s just an explanation for the previous 2 posts. I’m sure I was on a role though and there was something clipshow-able in it. See you then;
“Bloggaday 342 – Lifeboat psychology pt 3
By David “Full of Post-Horse Feed” Dysart
AKA David “Childlike, Desire-Driven, and Impulse-Ridden” Dysart

As I hope you’d have guessed by now, the preceding story wasn’t in fact true. Though as they say, every lie begins with a grain of truth. Such is the case with this one. While I’ve never been in a life raft, I’ve been on a cruise to Mehheeco. But, that’s a pretty fine grain truth, so I’ll go with the good, thick grain that’s buried under this pile of… post-horse feed.
On the first day of my first psychology class, we played a game. It was called

The class was broken up into groups of 4 or five. My group was 2 guys and 3 girls.*** The situation for the game was that one of us had to jump off of the boat and get eaten by the sharks**** in order for the others to survive.*****
In the end, the game is an example of the id, ego, superego (as proposed by a guy named Sigmund [and how his life got flip turned upsidedown******]) While I don’t really remember her schpeal post-game, I think I understand the three well enough to convey the message on a blog that has brought such educational nuggets as the Law of Special Baconivity ( and Women Explained: Missing Periods and the Compulsive “P” That Follows (
People who just won’t jump (won’t give a reason, they just won’t jump) are being dominated by their id, the childlike, desire-driven, and impulse-ridden part of you. People who use religion (and similar moral-based reasoning for our agnostic and atheistic audience) in their choice are using their superego, this being where our values and core beliefs are. Now, people who use the ego, are reasoning with the practicalities in front of them to calculate jump-value.
In my group, there really was a guy who just said, yep, I’ll go. He didn’t give a reason. He just jumped (No, I didn’t push him off of our imaginary life raft). So, when it came time for us to say who jumped, I got the finger of death and had to say who and why they jumped. Well. There wasn’t much to say, but this is where the whole “I don’t know, he just jumped. I tried to grab him,” yada yada yada thing came in. I suppose you had to be there. Though that probably wouldn’t have helped that much. I was there and my own wit didn’t astound me to an extent that I clearly remember it. But you know what? I just milked 3 Bloggadays out of it, so I’m happy.

Listening to
Dance, F--ker, dance. Man, he never had a chance – The Offspring

Twitter Tag
I get childlike, desire-driven, and impulse-ridden and calculate jump values, but only on Bloggaday

* That’s a drumroll^
** Actually, it was just called “Lifeboat,” not “Lifeboat!”
*** Hey! 2 and 3 = 5!^^
**** While I gave a reason for the circling sharks in my story, the Psych teacher didn’t. :-(
***** If one person from a 5-person raft had to jump, doesn’t that mean that the 4-person rafts would have been fine?^^^
****** I really need to stop going to Will Smith and the Fresh Prince of Bellaire for my musical reference

^ But not always. “…” usually just means pause.
^^ You also may have been able to figure that out by the story.
^^^ Something doesn’t quite add up about all of this >.> <.< >.>”

HEY! That’s way too much awesomeness there! That’s for compact awesomeness only. You’ll have to find someplace else to clipshow it. Nothing to see here folks. Move along while we get this matter straightened out.
Yeah, so I ended up just copy/pasting the entire thing. These 3 are the only ones I’ve done this to. It’s a pretty big deal. They’re 1 in a 100, really. In the 99th percentile. This post had another first. Many times, I’ve want to toss an “AKA” in there and give myself another nickname, but I always fought the urge. My will wavered this time though and I gave in. I’ve just been in too good of a mood the last few days. ^.^ =D ;) :-P I’m going all soft (Bazinga)
“It’s the poke, poke with the elbow + slurmy smile types of jokes

As terrible as it sounds though, I loved that moment. It was such a real moment.”

Bloggaday 343 – That’s what she said pt 2 wasn’t anything special. Because of the Third Great Trigady, I knew I was running out of free Bloggadays, so I decided it was finally time to throw it out to the wolves that is absolutely no one reading it.
Now, I wanted to say that last paragraph, but I also wanted to make a comment on the second clip from Bloggaday 343. I actually tend to enjoy these moments because, as I said, they’re real, Raw, kick you in the balls, life experiences. And it’s not like I’m an Ubermunch or anything, but they’re just moments everyone needs to experience, and I’m a tad bit behind. There are other moments that I look forward to happening, an others that I have NO interest in happening. They’re all going to happen though, so it’ll be interesting to get a glimpse of my hindsight after them.

Listening to
John Wayne on American Idol

Twitter Tag
Having accepted the essence of The 3rd Great Trigady, he has set out, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way The twits are tweeting and rss feeding I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face Let the pictures hit the floor I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see
158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday
159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…
183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

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