Bloggaday 335 – ABDF: Phone Calls and Another Day in the Life: A Bloggaday Double Feature pt 2

Bloggaday 335 – ABDF: Phone Calls and Another Day in the Life: A Bloggaday Double Feature pt 2
By David “Ivory Admirer” Dysart


Now, I’m a good phone match for some people. I’ve been praised for my brevity on the phone. That comes from people who aren’t fans of phones though. When
X= phone,
and while
xInept + xInept = stupidly long xcalls,
xInept + xHater = short calls.
That builds a positive image of the xInept, which is good since xInept needs all of the good press he can muster. Though, really, I’m not THAT utterly socially inept. Well, I am, but I manage. You see niceness and funniness make for the perfect smokescreen to cover up my social incompetence. Funny is the smoke, and nice is the screen. Combined, they form the perfect amalgam of social coverfire. In reality, I have all the social aptitude of Helen Keller

I actually came up with that smokescreen bit quite some time ago. Then I used it in a story I was writing. I wanted to use it here in this Bloggaday, so I did a quick search for smoke screen, and sure enough, Another Day in the Life came up. Another search later, and I copy/pasted it here, but I just had to read it. I didn’t start from the beginning, but from the smoke screen part. After those 1,400 words, I had tears in my eyes, and I had punched the desk several times. It was so incredibly awesome and so incredibly bad, that I loved every single word of it.
I mean, how do you not love a narrator saying, “Her head swayed back, lips pulled into a smile that would have made Liberace play straight for a night as he fingered the beat above her long ivories.”
Come on. Awesome AND so horribly terrible at the exact same time.

The story is almost kinda bioautographical.* It’s like the RAD: Random Ass Dialogue Bloggaday a couple of days ago. For this, it’s a first-person narration story where the main characters is BASICALLY myself and someone I kind of know in a fictional story. I don’t think I would usually spin off into all of this except for the fact that a major story point is the fact that I’m incredibly socially awkward, but I try to spin it into being cute, hence the whole smoke screen thing.
So I just read the first 1,500 words. It wasn’t quite as awesome, but it was pretty terrible. The thing is though, it actually reads very much as if I mashed up the Bloggaday with my regular fiction content. I played the narration from the peanut gallery just like I tend to do with the Bloggaday, so I quite enjoy it. I might as well toss the second paragraph in here,
Sigh. I slung my backpack on the slab of cement that boxed in the mini-jungle and rolled down to follow. I propped my legs on the pack and watched a leaf pull from a twig well above my reach. Thoughts swirled in my head as I tried to empathize with the leaf, but the dominating thought I imagined running through it’s inanimate veins as it pulled from the tree was, Hell if I’m getting a Watching Train pulled on me. I may be wrong about leaf thought patterns, but upon further reflection, I’m quite sure that I really get them.


Enough of that nonsense! I suppose, I could add one last thing. I’m also decent around drunken folks. I tend to feed off of their drunken state a little bit and open up a bit. Plus, drunk people don’t notice your lack of participation in conversations. They tend to just remember crushingly funny comments.

Wow, I wasn’t even sure I would get one Bloggaday out of phone calls, but I actually got two. Granted, I made it a double feature, but I still could have stretched it. Though I did have to open up phone calls into conversations in general. Yeah, I’m done writing nov**

Listening to
Beverley Hills by Weezer

Twitter Tag
Yeah, I’m done writing nov** only on Bloggaday –David “Ivory Admirer” Dysart http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday335



Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
http://twitter.com/daviddysart The twits are tweeting and rss feeding
http://daviddysart.tumblr.com/ I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr
http://thebloggaday.blogspot.com/ Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell
http://tiny.cc/Facebook_DavidDysart I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday
http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face
http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor
http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way


New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see
158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday
http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday158
159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday159
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…
http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday174
183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday183
134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.
http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday134
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday227



* Actually, I think I’m going to start calling those kind of stories bioautographical. That’s reading surprisingly well with me right now.
** I’m sorry, I find this funny as hell, even if no one gets it, so I had to write something about it. Now I’m done. Off to finally go make my 300 video.




Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out