Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bloggaday 341 – Lifeboat psychology pt 2

Bloggaday 341 – Lifeboat psychology pt 2
By David “Carpenter Square Shoulders” Dysart

Because I was sensing this, I started one of those silent, face conversations guys can have.* He was actually quite pleading in it. He brought up a very good point. What if we make our way to some deserted island, and then there’s some sort of global catastrophe that wipes out all of mankind? The job of repopulated the planet would fall to those in the raft. Apparently it was all a bit too much pressure for him. You glanced at the three women and communicated to me, “I just can’t do it. I simply don’t have the stamina for THREE women. But you! Good genes have made you tall. And those shoulders, man! If you tattooed framing on your collarbone, a carpenter would be using them.**” Come to think of it, I had seen him on the cruise earlier. He was wearing those really short volley ball shorts. The weird thing is though, there wasn’t a volleyball court on the ship. The plus about these nonverbal conversations though is the fact that I didn’t have to listen to his lisp.
Anyways, so I could see how torn up he was. He didn’t want the responsibility of possibly being the father of a new global population, but he didn’t have the nerve to make the leap.
I knew what I had to do. This valiant man was willing to give up his life for the good of mankind. I had to do my part though. I leapt for him and gave him a good shove. He freaked out a little as he went over. I’m not sure if it was having second thoughts or if it was just instinct, but he locked onto my arm like a rat getting chucked over a cheesy E. Luckily, once the shark got him, he let right go and didn’t embarrass himself anymore.
As for me, I never made it to that deserted island with the Miss July, Miss, August, and Miss*** November. The Coast Guard found our little boat about fifteen minutes later. I suppose the moral of the story is, when things look bleak and grim, just jump off. It’ll give somebody somewhere a really good story.

Listening to
Myself chuckling

Twitter Tag
Today I tell an inspiring story of a great man, global catastrophe, a veiled reference to Chuck E. Cheese, and a shark, only on Bloggaday

Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way The twits are tweeting and rss feeding I pray your mouse batteries die, and you take a tumblr Now here’s a little blog, I’ve got to tell I’m not calling you a bot, just don’t botter me

I wanna view like Youtube Shut up and let me show

What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face Let the pictures hit the floor I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way

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158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday
159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…
183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.

* Girls, forget that you ever read that. Men have NOT in fact developed a system of communication that has been passed down father-to-son. Though, if there were such a system devised, it would have been created by Abraham and Isaac.^
** Don’t worry if that didn’t make you ROFL. It was a bit of a stretch, and the joke isn’t even that funny.
*** Recently widowed Miss

^ The system was later improved upon by Jesus and the Big Guy Himself.^^
^^ Other than official translations, no other changes have been made. Though if another father must sacrifice his son, a memo may have to go around.

Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out

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