Bloggaday 341 – Lifeboat psychology pt 2
By David “Carpenter Square Shoulders” Dysart
Because I was sensing this, I started one of those silent, face conversations guys can have.* He was actually quite pleading in it. He brought up a very good point. What if we make our way to some deserted island, and then there’s some sort of global catastrophe that wipes out all of mankind? The job of repopulated the planet would fall to those in the raft. Apparently it was all a bit too much pressure for him. You glanced at the three women and communicated to me, “I just can’t do it. I simply don’t have the stamina for THREE women. But you! Good genes have made you tall. And those shoulders, man! If you tattooed framing on your collarbone, a carpenter would be using them.**” Come to think of it, I had seen him on the cruise earlier. He was wearing those really short volley ball shorts. The weird thing is though, there wasn’t a volleyball court on the ship. The plus about these nonverbal conversations though is the fact that I didn’t have to listen to his lisp.
Anyways, so I could see how torn up he was. He didn’t want the responsibility of possibly being the father of a new global population, but he didn’t have the nerve to make the leap.
I knew what I had to do. This valiant man was willing to give up his life for the good of mankind. I had to do my part though. I leapt for him and gave him a good shove. He freaked out a little as he went over. I’m not sure if it was having second thoughts or if it was just instinct, but he locked onto my arm like a rat getting chucked over a cheesy E. Luckily, once the shark got him, he let right go and didn’t embarrass himself anymore.
As for me, I never made it to that deserted island with the Miss July, Miss, August, and Miss*** November. The Coast Guard found our little boat about fifteen minutes later. I suppose the moral of the story is, when things look bleak and grim, just jump off. It’ll give somebody somewhere a really good story.
Today I tell an inspiring story of a great man, global catastrophe, a veiled reference to Chuck E. Cheese, and a shark, only on Bloggaday http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday341
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227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
* Girls, forget that you ever read that. Men have NOT in fact developed a system of communication that has been passed down father-to-son. Though, if there were such a system devised, it would have been created by Abraham and Isaac.^
** Don’t worry if that didn’t make you ROFL. It was a bit of a stretch, and the joke isn’t even that funny.
*** Recently widowed Miss
^ The system was later improved upon by Jesus and the Big Guy Himself.^^
^^ Other than official translations, no other changes have been made. Though if another father must sacrifice his son, a memo may have to go around.
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