Bloggaday 345 – The Third Great Trigady pt 2
By David “Doesn’t Have a Leg To Stand On” Dysart
The time has come yet again for another clipshow, this time the last for Bloggaday: Year 1. There’s still a few more regular posts coming, but The Third Great Trigady is going to fill most of the remaining year. Each of these posts contain some of the best of the last third of the Bloggaday, and my new comments add up to the 500-word word count.
Enjoy a look back at the last 100 posts. Until next time…
“Tom: After you hit 30, do you have to go to the gynecologist more often, or do they just figure you’re fine with that once-a-year schedule you’ve been on?
Chuck: You said, “first off,” but only made ONE point.
Tom: ? Oh, sorry. Um… I don’t remember. Sorry ’bout that though.
Tom: Freya and Asher actually do a pretty true cover to the original… except… you know… the whole lead singer being a woman thing.
Chuck: Well, given the style of 80’s hair-rock bands, they probably get all dossied up in a very similar fashion.
Tom: Haha, nice one there, Chuck. I think that’s the first funny thing you’ve said in our 24 SotWs together.
“Sweet Child O’ Mine”
Myles Kennedy w/ Mother effin Slash”
I actually would have changed this a bit knowing what I know now. A while back, you may remember that I did the first SotW Special, A Very 8-Bit Special that was just a bonus, not one of the weekly segments. I wish I would have done that with this post. It’s themed enough that it didn’t really need a weekly SotW all to itself.
SotW 24 did revolutionize all future SotW’s though. I started linking to the youtube page from here on out. As you can tell from the link I included in the clip above here, I’m a fan of Slash.
“Villagers had begun amassing in the center of the village, falling upon the beast’s path, but they did nothing but offer their bodies up as fodder to the beast’s rampage. Arrows bounced off its skin without marring it, fire merely blackened its misshapen body, and swords crumpled in its massive fists. Twice as tall as any opponent, it cut down villagers and reprieved the murders with the crushing of cottages and shacks. Taking patience with the destruction, it set fire to whatever rubble remained after its wreckage and laughed a sickly cackle at the sight.
The moving mountain let out another laugh that echoed throughout the valley. With a timber that shook the rock beneath their feet, it spoke, “And who are you to speak to me like that? You let half your village burn before threatening me with boys and feeble men.”
Guacamole Ukulele Song (Less ridiculous than the last 10 minutes of the Lions/J-E-T-S game) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uJ4WHnapU0”
I think FU2 kicked off a pretty decent week of fiction. If you can stand my writing, I would recommend it.
“I have introduced myself once this lifetime. I intend on not doing it again!” the stones roared. “If you truly wish to know my name, leave and await for the survivors of this massacre to spread my name across this land like the plague I shall soon become on its peoples.” (Granitos)
“No, so that when I kill you, you can speak of Xylon, the one who extinguished your time on this earth and will soon join you in Hell.” (Xylon)
The smile returned to Granitos’s face as he said, “It is you who shall await my return to Hell, and once we come together again, I will torment you for nothing more than my amusement.”
As the beast lumbered forward again, Xylon lifted the bow and slung another arrow, this one striking the hip of the beast. It went down as it tried to plant an undersized foot and collapsed to a still-limp arm. With hatred boiling in the beast’s eyes, it looked up from the billowing dust and screamed, “For a thousand million sunsets, I will torture you in Hell!” (Granitos)
Xylon smiled at the thing and slid from his saddle. He drew a sword from his saddle, the blade an engulfing blackness that drank the light of the fire. He began crossing the desolate distance between the two, a grin never even leaving his eyes.”
I enjoyed this Bloggaday. So much so, FU 3 will grab a spot amongst my favorite Bloggadays. I may have to return to writing this story and get it back into PWND rotation. I have a bit of the stpry bible figured out in my head, but I’m not sure if I ever wrote it down. If that’s that case, I may HAVE to start writing it soon. For instance, Ivan of Tyre is the… uncle? of the current general of the king’s army. Ivan himself being a disgraced commander who was able to retire to the small village due only to his friendship with the king.
“Dirt and rocks were ground into the handle of the blade as Granitos began to vibrate. “For those words, you shall never speak again! I will rip your tongue out before I crush you into the sands!”
“With your shaking and offish fingers?” Xylon laughed. “I think not.”
“This beast of Hell is nothing more than pestilence from purgatory!” Xylon laughed again.
“I am not as kind as the pathetic villagers or even yourself. I could make the offer for you to leave, but I will make no promise that you would keep you life.” The two paused before Xylon jumped from its chest with a shrug.
With a quick trot, Xylon caught up with the creature and palmed its head. He fought a quick thrash, but brought it to his eyes. He cocked his head before saying, “Do tell the demons and devils I will be coming. They really should prepare for their own demise. I will soon bore of extinguishing this world.” He threw it back into the ground and spun his sword in his hand. He planted the tip in the crack of its neck and drove the blade down.
People question my football knowledge”
And so it’s revealed that the savior of the village is actually quite the evil character. Yay character building. FU 4 was another fun one to write, but it’s nothing to write home about. If you’d like a little more story though, the hellbeasts actually come in waves. There are previous Granitos’s running around the planet. This last one though, just met his doom rather quickly.
At least, that’s how it’s working out in my head.
““Thank you, Sir!” a familiar voice came. Xylon turned to an older man that continued on, “You have saved us from that monstrosity and rid the earth of a terrible creature. We are forever in your debt.”
Xylon greeted him with a nod. “Very well, then kneel.”
“Beg your pardon, Sir?” Ivan puzzled
With a frown and pouted lips, Xylon repeated, “Kneel. I have decided that this village is mine, and as such, I am your god. What would you propose as a proper greeting to your god?“ he finished with a cocked head.
Ivan coughed a mouthful of blood before he managed to raise his eyes. With a scowl chiseled on his face, he said, “You came to our people posing the hero, but the great beast spoke the truth. You cannot hope to catch every man from this village. People will know your name.”
Xylon frowned at the man before saying, “Ah, you are wrong, you old fool. I will extinguish every life from this village. Granitos was nothing but a prideful and sloppy monster.”
“Heh,” the old man snorted. “That creature was a beast. You are a monster.”
With a quick arch of his eyebrows, Xylem looked from the sword to him. “That’s the thing about the Hellbeasts… We are all monsters.” He brought the sword between the two, dissecting Ivan’s view of his face.”
FU 5 was another good one. A little character development for our fair Xylon. And that ol’ Ivan still has some fight left in those bones, though I suppose he’s down a few since the whole leg incident.
“A drop of crimson rolled free from Ivan’s white stubble and collected in the pool sinking into the dirt. He looked up and into green eyes so very pale and eternally empty.
Xylon raised the sword higher with a smirk as the old man resigned his head with closed eyes. The savior-turned-reaper paused as the sword held the air. With a roar, Xylon fought the sword and cut down, through humid air and the house of Tyre, neither offering resistance.”
Man, that Xylon is brutal. But who shall stand for the villagers of FU 6 (Hint, Ivan doesn’t have a leg to stand on). Again, the rest of FU won’t be as brutal, but to get across the Xylon character, it seemed somewhat necessary.
“Tom: I’m sorry. Change your tampon, and then say what you were going to say.
Chuck: Great… I got some from your girlfriend. Ha!
Tom: Really, I didn’t know you and your wife liked the same brand.
Chuck: Oh, come on, Tom.
Tom: So, what did you want to say?
Chuck: I think we covered this in an earlier Song of the Week, but you haven’t actually read your contract, have you?
Tom: Well, define “read.”
Chuck: Looked and examined that piece of paper you signed word by word through serial processing.
Tom: Well, it was more of a parallel processing thing.
Chuck: So… No?
Tom: No, I didn’t read the contract. There, are you happy?
Chuck: Actually, I am…
Chuck: Suit yourself. Thank you, Bloggaday Readers, for joining us for the Song of the Week. Please do come back tomorrow for part two. We’ll be sure to actually get to the Song of the Week. I’m Chuck,
Tom: I’m annoyed,
Chuck: Have a great day, everybody.”
Pretty decent SotW 25. Tom AND Paul kept interrupting Chuck, but Chuck got the last laugh. Though Tom got several laughs in, so it’s probably a wash at this point.
“Tom: You mean Super Awesome Lawyer of the Santa Cruz area, Keith Dysart, who passed his bar the on his first try?
Chuck: With that settled, should we get to the Song of the Week?
Tom: YES, FINALLY. I can’t do another SotW for a good, long time.
Chuck: Well, what are our songs for consideration this week?
Tom: Oh, that’s right. We have to go through each one…
Tom: Sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Chuck: Haha, why?
Tom: Because we’re not going to get this all done in 200 words.”
HEY! It’s SotW 25 AND it’s a plug! Cue… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxZwp9HvikY
Part two of this SotW wasn’t too bad. I basically just continues on with the whole “hosts getting tired of hosting the SotW” thing
“Tom: Alrighty then, the Song this week is…
Chuck: IS IT “EVEN FLOW!?!?”
Tom: Calm down, Chuck. You’re kind of foaming at the mouth there.
Chuck: IS IT “SWEET CHILD O’ MINE” AGAIN?!?!?
Tom: Really, Chuck?
Chuck: Sorry, go ahead.
Tom: The Son-
Chuck: IS IT “HOW YOU REMIND ME?” TELL ME NOW, COC-
Chuck: Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Tom: Fine. The Song of th-
Chuck: IT’S “SONG 2” ISN’T IT?
Tom: Seriously, dude, you’re getting spit on my suit.
Chuck: I swear, it won’t happen again.
Tom: I know… You’ve already guessed all 4 songs. Unless we’ve got a write-in ballot, you’re pretty much out of gas now, aren’t you?”
Part 3 of SotW 25 was another fantastic episode if I do say so myself…
Anyways. I ended it with another Tom Standard, so if that’s got you all happy, go to the post for the sweet, sweet, confetti release.
My Name is Prince by… Prince
The whole of the Bloggaday universe shuttered as it approached, only on Bloggaday http://tiny.cc/Bloggaday345
Going faster than a “Reply All” email, websites like mine will surely go your way
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I wanna view like Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/user/DavidDysart Shut up and let me show
What’s pickier than pickier? The Piccaday
http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Photobucket Light me up that web cam and strap a smile on my face
http://thepiccaday.blogspot.com/ Let the pictures hit the floor
http://tiny.cc/Piccaday_Flickr I’m gonna pack my pixels and I’m gonna go your way
New to the Bloggaday? These are the essential posts to see
158 – Boxer V Brief – Short, concise joke machine and a DYNAMIC ENTRANCE! to my favorite Bloggadays of the Second Trigaday
159 – A Phthalates-filled Sbarro Breadstick – This was just a funny Bloggaday despite the essence being something no one will get unless the look up what a phthalate is
174 – FNtCCA,aToTbDD– While I think it’s clear I rarely EDIT the Bloggaday, this train-of-thought post shows how much I have to FILTER it…
183 – SotW 13 – This one had it all. Pretty much every bit that’s been a major player in the SotW made its way into this one, so it’s a good one to try.
134 – SotW 5 – This particular Song of the Week featured the characters a bit truer to their original concept. After a while, I started liking Tom too much and changed him a bit which caused changes to Chuck.
227 – PWND: TSHBRotCCPS pt16 was some solid fiction content. Plus, that was probably some of the finest Final Thought I’ve ever thought up.
Close the screen, the awesome’s getting out